


don't look at the groupchat

by evalinh



Series: It's just a prank bro [3]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Aromantic Uchiha Sasuke, Asexual Hyuuga Hinata, Bisexual Haruno Sakura, Bisexual Uzumaki Naruto, Crack, F/F, F/M, Gay Aburame Shino, Gay Inuzuka Kiba, Gay rock lee, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I was out of my mind, Lesbian Yamanaka Ino, M/M, Multi, OOC, Other, Out of Character, Past Haruno Sakura/Uchiha Sasuke, Past Uchiha Sasuke/Uzumaki Naruto, Trans Uzumaki Naruto, because I dosed all of them with crack, but I thought it was funny, poor sai is just traumatized and trying to understand the world, text fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-21
Updated: 2020-05-03
Packaged: 2021-02-23 08:30:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,916
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23775382
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/evalinh/pseuds/evalinh
Summary: Sakura: To be fair Naruto, she was just saying what she was thinkingSakura: are you being sexist by thinking she can't say what's on her mind?Naruto:...Hinata: this was not the direction i was hoping this conversation would goNaruto: I find this question to be very homophobicSasuke: You can't just call a minor inconvenience homophobic
Relationships: Aburame Shino & Hyuuga Hinata & Inuzuka Kiba, Aburame Shino/Inuzuka Kiba, Akimichi Chouji & Nara Shikamaru & Yamanaka Ino, Akimichi Chouji/Karui, Gaara/Rock Lee, Haruno Sakura & Uchiha Sasuke & Uzumaki Naruto, Haruno Sakura/Yamanaka Ino, Hatake Kakashi/Maito Gai | Might Guy, Nara Shikamaru/Temari, Uchiha Itachi/Uchiha Izumi/Uchiha Shisui
Series: It's just a prank bro [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1458259
Kudos: 99





	1. you right

**Author's Note:**

> I have like 5 wips and what do I do? Start another one!

**Group Chat :** **_chaotic hoes_ **

**Naruto** : NEW SCHOOL YEAR WE ARE BACK BITCHES

 **Naruto** : FRESHMAN YEAR CAN GO FUCK ITSELF BECAUSE IT IS SOPHOMORE YEAR BITCHES

 **_Naruto_ ** _changed the group chat name to_ **_back bitches_ **

**Naruto** : oh yeah and our three juniors too but we overpower you so

 **Naruto** : SOPHOMORES! SOPHOMORES!

 **Sakura** : Naruto, it is literally 3 in the morning. Go back to bed and be energetic when I pick you up

 **Sasuke** : You're picking him up?

 **Sasuke** : I thought all three of us we're carpooling in my car

 **Sakura** : No, I already said I'm picking you two up so I can show off my new car to the rest of the school

 **Sakura** : I did not beg my parents for months for me to custom detail my car to look like Sharpey's car for nothing

 **Sakura** : So

 **Sakura** : :) I :) AM :) DRIVING :)

 **Sakura** : You also left a shit ton of stuff at my place, I'll have a box ready for you in my trunk

 **Sasuke** : thank you

 **Ino** : back off my woman Uchiha >:(

 **Sasuke** : go ahead and sweep her off her feet yamanaka

 **Ino** : I'll do that and more

 **Ino** : Sak, can you pick me up too <3

 **Sakura** : Of course babe <3

 **Ino** : thx boo <3

 **Naruto** : ew stop being gay in the gc

 **Hinata** : ew Naruto is being Naruto

 **Naruto** : what

 **Naruto** : NO

 **Naruto** : she didn't

 **Hinata** : I'm so sorry plz forgive me 

**Sakura** : she just did

 **Naruto** : HINATA WHY ARE YOU BEING SO MEAN

 **Naruto** : YOU GUYS CORRUPTED HER

 **Naruto** : SHE USED TO BE THE PERSON WE COULD DEPEND ON FOR GIVING US A GOOD REPUTATION

 **Sakura** : To be fair Naruto, she was just saying what she was thinking

 **Sakura** : are you being sexist by thinking she can't say what's on her mind?

 **Naruto** :...

 **Hinata** : this was not the direction i was hoping this conversation would go

 **Naruto** : I find this question to be very homophobic

 **Sasuke** : You can't just call a minor inconvenience homophobic 

**Naruto** : Isn't that our fucking slogan?

 **Choji** : No, the principal made us change it to something cheesy

 **Choji** : She got complaints from the district about “distracting and inappropriate behavior" specifically

 **Choji** : Speaking of which, how many of you need breakfast burritos tomorrow?

 **Sakura** : me plz

 **Ino** : me I love you

 **Naruto** : I'll take one

 **Kiba** : me and shino need 2

 **Kiba** : he decided to be responsible and go to bed at a reasonable time

 **Kiba** : he hung up on me and I've been vibing in my room alone, yearning for his arms around me

 **Ino** : ew Kiba's boyfriend struggles

 **Sakura** : can't relate

 **Sasuke** : disgusting

 **Naruto** : Kiba is always bragging

 **Naruto** : what an asshole am i right

 **Kiba** : I JUST WANT TO CUDDLE WITH MY BOYFRIEND

 **Hinata** : I think your relationship is admirable and most of us are shaming you because you are annoying as fuck but have the healthiest relationship among us sophomores

 **Kiba** : …

 **Kiba** : Hinata, you're too sweet for this world

 **Naruto** : did you literally skip over the fact that she complimented you, insulted you, then complimented you again

 **Kiba** : fuck you naruto

 **Neji** : my children, as much as I hate you all, please go the fuck to sleep before my phone explodes

 **Naruto** : aw shit dad caught us

 **Sakura** : everyone scatter!

* * *

**From: Manwhore**

**To: Pink Bitch**

**Manwhore** : sak

 **Manwhore** : hurry

 **Manwhore** : the

 **Manwhore** : fuck 

**Manwhore** : up

 **Manwhore** : my brother and his partners are being domestic

 **Pink Bitch** : I just picked up naruto

 **Pink Bitch** : stop texting me while I'm driving

 **Manwhore** : can we make a stop at starbucks

 **Pink Bitch** : no

 **Manwhore** : plz =(((

 **Manwhore** : I'll pay for you and ino's basic bitch drinks

 **Pink Bitch** : fine

* * *

**From: Yellow Bitch**

**To: sauce no cakes**

**Yellow Bitch** : will you pay for my drink too?

 **Yellow Bitch** : :)

 **sauce no cakes** : fuck no you leech

 **Yellow Bitch:** :(

 **sauce no cakes** : you're the one with a job

 **sauce no cakes** : pay for it yourself

* * *

 **From:** **Actual Puppy**

**To: Hina Babey**

**Actual Puppy** : hina, can you give me cuddles?

 **Hina Babey** : of course

 **Hina Babey** : what's wrong

 **Actual Puppy** : shino won't give me cuddles

 **Actual Puppy** : he says that they're my punishment for staying up all night

 **Actual Puppy** : he also doesn't want me to fall asleep and drool on his shoulder again

 **Hina Babey** : you deserve all the cuddles

 **Hina Babey** : where are you

 **Actual Puppy** : next to Ms.Kurenai's classroom

 **Actual Puppy** : thank you angel

* * *

**From: Shino**

**To: Hinata**

**Shino** : Do not give Kiba hugs under any circumstances

 **Shino** : he will drool and slobber all over you

 **Shino** : he and Akamaru have become one

 **Hinata** : shino

 **Hinata** : he’s your boyfriend

 **Hinata** : that’s the whole point

 **Shino** : i find it more fun when he’s begging

 **Shino** : ... 

**Hinata** : ew shino

 **Shino** : that’s not how I mean to say that

 **Shino** : hinata i need you to know that i didn’t mean to say it like that

 **Hinata** : just stop 

**Hinata** : I don’t need to know about your kinks

 **Hinata** : just give Kiba cuddles

 **Hinata** : or i will

* * *

 **Group Chat:** **_back bitches_ **

**Tenten** : look at our precious sophomores

 **Tenten** : they grow up so fast

 **Tenten** : they look like that haven't completely given up at this point

 **Kiba** : bold of you to assume some of us haven't given up since the beginning

 **Lee** : WHY WOULD ANY OF YOU GIVE UP

 **Lee** : YOU HAVE YOUR WHOLE LIVES AHEAD OF YOU

 **Lee** : GIVING UP IS JUST LETTING SOMEONE ELSE TAKE THE WIN

 **Neji** : Lee, how many energy drinks did you get?

 **Lee** : IT DOESN'T MATTER

 **Lee** : WHAT DOES MATTER IS THAT I BELIEVE THAT THIS YEAR WILL BE THE BEST YEAR OF OUR LIVES

 **Shino** : Do you have caps lock on?

 **Lee** : WHAT DO YOU MEAN I ALWAYS TEXT LIKE THIS

 **Kiba** : babe, how often do you ignore the group chat to not notice that?

 **Shino** : very often

 **Tenten** : I get that, but I would recommend checking it out more often because you've been missing out of the spicy drama

 **Shino** : I don't need drama in my life

 **Shino** : I have two priorities

 **Shino** : graduate and keep Kiba around for as long as i can handle

 **Kiba** : awwwwww <3<3<3

 **Kiba** : look at that guys, I'm someone's top priority!

 **Sasuke** : I should've blocked all of you a long time ago

 **Sasuke** : why are you texting so much right now?

 **Sasuke** : it's literally the middle of class

 **Tenten** : I see that Sasuke hasn't completely given up yet

 **Sasuke** : I am literally in the bathroom sending these texts, are you telling me you are all texting in class?

 **Kiba** : yeah, my teachers are super chill about it

 **Kiba** : then again, I'm not taking honors classes so what would i know

 **Lee** : I AM IN THE LOCKER ROOM

 **Lee** : COACH MIGHT IS HAVING US FIGURE OUT ALL THE LOCKER COMBOS TO OUR LOCKERS

 **Sasuke** : lee, do you have caps lock on again?

 **Lee** : WHAT DO YOU MEAN

 **Tenten** : that's just how he text, how many times do we have to tell you guys this?

 **Neji** : Just let Lee type in caps lock, it's not like it's very different from how he normally talks

 **Sasuke** : you right

 **Naruto** : you right

 **Sakura** : you right

 **Ino** : you right

 **Kiba** : you right

 **Shikamaru** : this is why I dont charge my phone

* * *

 **Group Chat:** **_sevens all around_ **

**futuredoctor** : so here we are again

 **futuredoctor** : all three of us in kakashi's class again

 **asinglenoodle** : it's year 3 now

 **too_manyedges** : either the counselors are trolling us by putting us in the same class or Kakashi is trolling us by teaching a higher level subject every year

 **asinglenoodle** : idk why you guys are talking in the group chat and not irl

 **asinglenoodle** : we are literally right next to one another

 **futuredoctor** : because I don't want that creepy new kid to listen in on our conversation

 **too_manyedges** : the super pale one who only brought a pencil and sketchbook to school?

 **futuredoctor** : yeah, duh, he's the only one new to this school in our class

 **asinglenoodle** : his vibe gives me the creeps

 **asinglenoodle** : his smile does too

 **too_manyedges** : the student teacher gives me the creeps too

 **futuredoctor** : ikr!? 

**futuredoctor** : he looks like a nice guy but he looks at us like he just saw a glimpse of our sad soul

 **asinglenoodle** : its like he knows all our secrets and insecurities with just one look

 **too_manyedges** : he just looks at me like he wants to murder me

 **futuredoctor** : …

 **futuredoctor** : sasuke, every teacher looks like they want to murder you specifically

 **too_manyedges** : not kakashi

 **asinglenoodle** : nope

 **asinglenoodle** : even with the mask that man looks like he wants to murder you and the rest of the sophomore class

 **futuredoctor** : you just have to admit that everyone thinks you're an ass

 **too_manyedges** : I already know everyone hates me 

**too_manyedges** : do you guys hate me?

 **futuredoctor** : on some days, yeah

 **too_manyedges** : ouch, that hurt

 **futuredoctor** : but on other days I'm appreciative to be called your friend

 **futuredoctor** : even with the whole incident in 7th grade

 **asinglenoodle** : you're my bff Sasuke

 **asinglenoodle** : i hate you in a loving way

 **too_manyedges** : wow you guys are actually being nice to me

 **futuredoctor** : because you feel remorse for all the shitty things you've done in the past, you are improving to become a better version of yourself

 **futuredoctor** : YOU DESERVE HAPPINESS AND HUGS

 **asinglenoodle** : permission to hug you irl?

 **too_manyedges** : permission granted

 **futuredoctor** : the whole class is looking at us really weirdly

 **too_manyedges** : from looking at your phones to silently initiating a hug can do that

* * *

 **Group Chat:** ** _ten_** **_no clock_**

 **the lesbian** : SHIKAMARU

 **the lesbian** : NARA BOY

 **the lesbian** : PINEAPPLE HEAD

 **the lesbian** : ARE THE RUMORS TRUE?!

 **the lesbian** : I NEED ANSWERS

 **the lesbian** : NOW

 **sleep** : woman

 **sleep** : I am literally taking a nap in algebra rn

 **sleep** : stop making my phone buzz

 **the lesbian** : I NEED ANSWERS NARA

 **gordanramsay** : YES WE NEED ANSWERS

 **sleep** : you too Choji?

 **sleep** : god damn i can never get a break from you two

 **sleep** : wtf do you even need an answer for?

 **the lesbian** : ARE YOU REALLY DATING A SENIOR FROM SUNA HIGH?

 **sleep** : …

 **sleep** : where did you two hear this?

 **gordanramsay** : Lee

 **the lesbian** : Lee

 **sleep** : how does Lee know?

 **the lesbian** : (thank you for confirming my suspicions)

 **the lesbian** : his boyfriend goes to Suna

 **the lesbian** : and rumor has it that a Nara boy has been visiting his boyfriend's sister throughout the summer

 **sleep** : how did I literally forget that Lee was dating Gaara?

 **gordanramsay** : you don't check the main gc that often

 **gordanramsay** : I also have news to tell you guys

 **gordanramsay** : I met a girl and we started dating a month ago

 **gordanramsay** : I didn’t want to tell you guys in case it ended badly

 **gordanramsay** : but I really like her and she really likes me

 **the lesbian** : OOOOOOOOO

 **the lesbian** : LOOK AT THIS BOY GETTING LADIES

 **the lesbian** : SO WHAT IS SHE LIKE?

 **the lesbian** : HOW DID YOU MEET?

 **sleep** : Ino stop being nosey

 **sleep** : but congrats Choji

 **gordanramsay** : thanks!

 **gordanramsay** : Well, her name Karui, she attends Kumo High

 **gordanramsay** : we met at the state wrestling tournament last year

 **gordanramsay** : she tends to have a pretty big temper

 **gordanramsay** : but she is working on not letting her emotions get in the way of what she wants

 **gordanramsay** : i really like that about her

 **the lesbian** : aww!!!

 **the lesbian** : well I can’t wait for you to introduce us to her!

 **sleep** : yeah, I’m really happy for you man

 **gordanramsay** : thanks, I’m really hoping that this relationship is good!!

 **sleep** : …

 **sleep** : YOU TWO WILL NOT BELIEVE THE TEXT I JUST GOT FROM TEMARI

 **sleep** : I’M DEAD

 **the lesbian** : oh shit

 **the lesbian** : Shika is using caps

 **the lesbian** : this is really bad

* * *

**Group Chat: _junior edition_**

**the rich one** : are we still on for movie night?

 **i have knives** : as long as it’s at your place

 **i have knives** : i love you lee but we need to take advantage of the fact that we have a rich friend

 **green smoothies** : I AGREE WITH YOU TENTEN

 **green smoothies** : NEJI YOUr HOUSE IS MUCH BETTER FOR MOVIE NIGHT

 **the rich one** : just to give you guys a head up

 **the rich one** : we’re gonna have to keep it down

 **the rich one** : my uncle is hosting a big family meeting with the rest of the old people in our family

 **i have knives** : don’t worry, we can stay quiet

 **i have knives** : right lee?

 **green smoothies** : PLEASE PICK A MOVIE THAT WILL BORE ME

 **green smoothies** : ACTUALLY

 **green smoothies** : I’LL JUST TEXT GAARA THROUGHOUT THE MOVIE

 **green smoothies** : I DON’T KNOW HOW TO STAY THAT QUIET FOR THAT LONG

 **i have knives** : how is he btw?

 **green smoothies** : he’s doing great

 **green smoothies** : he’s coming to Konoha this weekend with his siblings

 **green smoothies** : his dad wants to meet Shikamaru’s family

 **the rich one** : big yikes to Shikamaru

 **i have knives** : oof, that poor man’s soul

 **green smoothies** : yeah, but me and gaara are planning on going around the town together

 **i have knives** : hope you two have a fun time!!!

 **i have knives** : don’t forget to visit the gothic jewelry kiosk I’m working at this weekend!

 **i have knives** : also lee, your phone is doing that thing where it only text in caps lock or only lowercase the whole time

 **i have knives** : you need to get that fixed

* * *

 **Group Chat:** **_back bitches_ **

**Shikamaru** : i’m fucked

 **Sakura** : rumors spread fast

 **Naruto** : we know already Shika

 **Shikamaru** : did you hear the one about how I’m gonna be murdered emotionally by my girlfriend’s dad?

 **Naruto** : wait what

 **Sakura** : I heard from Ino

 **Tenten:** heard it from lee

 **Neji** : lee said something about that

 **Kiba** : I heard it from Ino during 5th

 **Kiba** : the woman cannot keep her mouth shut about this

 **Hinata** : I heard it from all of the above

 **Naruto** : so you all heard about this and none of you told me? 

**Sasuke** : i didn’t hear about it

 **Shikamaru** : yeah, but you don’t tend to really care about our problems

 **Sasuke** : you right

 **_Naruto_ ** _changed the group chat name to_ **_talking about our problems_ **

**Naruto** : you can go back to whatever you were doing before

 **Sakura** : I bet 10 that you were trying to ignore Itachi, Shisui, and Izumi by looking at the group chat

 **Sasuke** : I will pay you that in gas money

 **Naruto** : okay, but Shika go on with how we can help

 **Shikamaru** : there is no help for me

 **Shikamaru** : it was nice knowing you all

 **Shikamaru** : tell mr.sarutobi that he can pick up my math homework from my grave

 **Shikamaru** : tell that I didn't do anything on the back for a reason

 **Naruto** : yo, can i copy it?

 **Shikamaru** : I'll send pics to you in like 5


	2. sai has questions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sai: I mean, it’s different to homeschooling in a lot of ways, but it’s fine for the most part
> 
> Sai: What’s weird is that whatever I say people just look at me weirdly
> 
> Ino: We need to work on your social skills, bud
> 
> Sai: That is exactly what my brother said

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I made some changes since the first chapter:  
> 1\. Neji, Lee, and Tenten are juniors now because the timeline didn't add up so I changed it  
> 2\. Their gc name is now "junior edition"
> 
> Other than that, hope you enjoy the inclusion of Sai

**From: big broskii**

**To: smol broskii**

**big broskii** : where r u

**big broskii** : who r you with

**smol broskii** : shisui I know it's you texting

**smol broskii** : itachi is too much of a grammar nazi to use "r"

**big broskii** : i still need to know where u @ and who u with so auntie doesn't yell at us for not knowing where you are

**big broskii** : also Izumi is with me

**big broskii** : Hi Sasuke!! - Izumi

**smol broskii** : hey izumi

**smol** **broskii** : im at naruto's w/ naruto and sakura

 **smol** **broskii** : sak just left so im about to leave too

**big broskii** : what were u 3 doing

**smol broskii** : helping Naruto sew back his wallet

**big broskii** : that green lump of fabric that he calls a wallet has finally met its demise!!

**smol broskii** : it's special to him for some reason and im not going to question it

**smol broskii** : it ripped in his backpack and he doesn't know how to sew so he called us over

**big broskii** : and you do?

**smol broskii** : no, sakura does

**big broskii** : i thought so

**smol broskii** : she watches too many stitching videos when she's anxious

**smol broskii** : it makes me scared that one day I will wake up and she stitched my mouth together

**big broskii** : finally, she can stop you yapping about how your brother and sister in law keep being domestic

**smol broskii** : you guys aren't even married

**smol broskii** : how can you be my in laws

**big broskii** : Do you know how much time we spend at your house? - Izumi

**smol broskii** : I thought you guys lived here

**smol broskii** : WAIT

**smol broskii** : YOU GUYS DONT EVEN LIVE HERE?

**big broskii** : yeah

**big broskii** : me and izumi still (technically) live at our parents' houses

**smol broskii** : BUT ALL OF YOUR STUFF IS HERE

**big broskii** : eh

**big broskii** : only some of our stuff we leave here on accident and never take it back because we spend so much time at your house

**smol broskii** : THEN GO BACK TO YOUR OWN HOUSE AND STOP BOTHERING US

**big broskii** : aww, sasuke is referencing Arthur!!

**smol** **broskii** : ARRG!!

**big broskii** : ah, itachi just foubd out we took hus phone

**big broskii** : goodbye baby brother in law - Izumi

**big broskii** : see you later tonight!! - Izumi

**smol broskii** : BOTH OF YOU JUST GO BACK TO YOUR OWN HOUSES

**smol broskii** : YOU DONT LIVE HERE

**big broskii** : So sorry for the inconvenience, Sasuke. If I knew Shisui and Izumi were going to take my phone, you wouldn’t have to see those messages.

**smol broskii** : WELL AT LEAST NOW I KNOW THAT THEY DON'T EVEN LIVE IN THIS HOUSE

**smol broskii** : TELL YOUR PARTNERS TO GET OUT

* * *

**Group Chat: talking about our problems**

**Sasuke** : WAS NO ONE GOING TO TELL ME THAT MY BROTHER'S PARTNERS WERENT LIVING WITH US THIS WHOLE TIME??

**Sasuke** : OR WAS I SUPPOSED TO FIND THAT OUT THROUGH TEXTING SHISUI??

**Sakura** : good evening to you too sasuke

**_Ino_ ** _ added  _ **_Sai_ ** _ to  _ **_talking about our problems_ **

**Ino** : Hey guys!

**Ino** : this is my new friend Sai from my art class

**Ino** : He doesn’t really have many friends and has a hard time socializing

**Ino** : So I thought he could join our circle!

**Sai** : hello.

**Choji** : Hi! I’m Choji, the resident wrestler and chef!

**Tenten** : ‘Sup, I’m Tenten, I have an obsession with ancient weapons.

**Ino** : We also have Sakura, my girlfriend and love of my life, Sasuke, the emo of the group, and Naruto, who is a mess at all times. We call them Team 7 sometimes.

**Ino** : We also have Neji, Lee, and Tenten. They’re all in a lot of sports and known as Team Guy.

**Ino** : Along with me and Choji, we have Shikamaru(very lazy but very smart!). Together we are Team 10

**Ino** : then last but not least, we have Kiba(has become one with his dog), Shino(obsessed with bugs), and Hinata(the purest of cinnamon rolls).

**Sai** : Ino, I thought you said this was a small group?

**Ino** : Well,  _ this _ is the small group. We also have other friends at other schools who aren’t in this gc.

**Sai** : okay then

**Sai** : Well, hi I’m Sai

**Sai** : My brother and I just move here after something happened back in our hometown

**Sai** : And this is my first time at a real school

**Choji** : Wow! How are you adjusting to it?

**Sai** : I mean, it’s different to homeschooling in a lot of ways, but it’s fine for the most part

**Sai** : What’s weird is that whatever I say people just look at me weirdly

**Ino** : We need to work on your social skills, bud

**Sai** : That is exactly what my brother said

* * *

**Group Chat: sevens all around**

**futuredoctor** : y’all

**futuredoctor** : ino just added that weird new guy from kakashi’s class into the main gc

**too_manyedges** : we know sakura

**too_manyedges** : we all saw the group chat

**asinglenoodle** : omg sasuke actually looks at the gc

**too_manyedges** : stop say that like its a surprise

**too_manyedges** : i was texting in it when ponytail added him in

**futuredoctor** : idk how i feel about this

**asinglenoodle** : same, his vibe is just weird

**asinglenoodle** : like if sasuke never met us or the sun

**too_manyedges** : this seems more offensive to me than him

**futuredoctor** : any idea where he’s from? He was homeschooled but he’s definitely not konoha

**asinglenoodle** : i’ve seen suna guys and they are definitely not that pale with their sun

**too_manyedges** : i can ask my friends at oto if they know anything

* * *

**From: Shin**

**To: Sai**

**Shin** : sooooooo!!! How was your very first week of school?

**Sai** : it was fine I guess

**Sai** : I made a friend-ish

**Shin** : OOOOOOooooOo 

**Shin** : soooo what are they like?

**Sai** : her name is Ino and I met her in my art class

**Shin** : ooooOoOo a giiirll

**Sai** : not like that

**Sai** : she has a girlfriend

**Sai** : what do you think I am??

**Sai** : a homewrecker??

**Shin** : I'm just teasing you

**Shin** : I'm really glad you could make friends at this school

**Sai** : yeah, but after I talked with her she added me to this group chat of all her crazy friends

**Sai** : it's a bit much to be honest

**Shin** : well at least you're being social, you can improve on those social skill you so desperately need

**Sai** : what's wrong with how I socialize now?

**Shin** : sai, you know what the therapist said

**Shin** : you say a lot of things without thinking or even knowing what you're talking about

**Shin** : being around people might help you learn how other people feel

**Shin** : don't try to "but danzo" me here

**Shin** : you need to have people around you right now

**Sai** : fine

**Sai** : I'll try

**Sai** : but I'm pretty sure 4 people in that group chat already hate my guts

**Shin** : just give them and yourself time

**Shin** : I'm taking a late shift tonight at work so dinner is yesterday's leftovers and anything you can make without burning the house

**Shin** : don't destroy the house, okay?

**Sai** : have a fun time in the normal working world

**Shin** : have a fun time in the normal teenage world

* * *

**Group Chat: talking about our problems**

**Sai** : can someone explain this one thing to me

**Sai** : why are you all separated into teams??

**Sakura** : the time has come

**Sakura** : some has asked the question

**Sai** : oh no I know what that means

**Sakura** : COMMENCE THE PRESENTATION!!!!

**Ino** : okay, so it all started out in 6th grade

**Ino** : we were all separated into different groups in gym

**Ino** : Coach Sarutobi, who actually works at Konoha High now as a baseball coach and math teacher, then decided these would be our competitive groups for the rest of the school year

**Sakura** : It’s kinda just stuck since then

**Sai** : …

**Sai** : that was underwhelming

**Sakura** : no it isn’t it’s a great story of a joke that is too far gone

**Sai** : But why are Neji, Tenten, and Lee called Team Guy?

**Tenten** : Lee had a leg injury that week but was still determined to be involved in the activities

**Tenten** : Coach Guy was visiting Mr.Hatake that day and wanted to see what was happening in the gym

**Neji** : A warning for you: Coach Guy is  _ very _ energetic and active

**Tenten** : So, to make games fair that day, Coach Guy joined our team

**Lee** : AND FROM THEN ON WE WERE KNOWN AS TEAM GUY

**Tenten** : tbh I forgot what our original team number was so that stuck

**Sai** : does Lee always type in all caps?

**Tenten** : yes

**Neji** : yes

**Sakura** : yes

**Ino** : yes

**Lee** : YES

**Sai** : one last question

**Sai** : you all became friends how????

**Sai** : the narrative does not add up with the only explanation being that you were all in the same gym class

**Sakura** : young paladin, you have opened a new gate of wonder 

**Ino** : which she means is that it's a long story full of loose connections leading up to freshman year(and sophomore year for our lovely juniors)

**Sakura** : yeah this is the actual long one

**Sakura** : the connection that is farthest back is Ino, Shikamaru, and Choji

**Ino** : we grew up together because are families are very good friends

**Ino** : they're basically my brothers

**Shikamaru** : and she is the very annoying sister I never needed

**Ino** : but you love me just the same <3

**Sakura** : I met Ino in kindergarten and we've stuck together like glue since then(not counting that one incident before we started dating)

**Ino** : Hinata and Neji are cousins, their dads are twins so that's why they look like siblings

**Sakura** : Naruto and Sasuke have known each other since they were kids too but never really got along until freshman year(some rivalry shit Naruto made up that went too far)

**Naruto** : IT WAS A PERFECTLY JUSTIFIED RIVALRY

**Sakura** : it really wasn't 

**Ino** : Neji and Lee met in 1st grade and Lee just kinda stuck with him and Neji never complained. Same thing with Tenten when she moved here in 4th grade.

**Tenten** : and now he's stuck with us for the rest of his life

**Sakura** : Naruto had made a little group of troublemakers in 4th grade, consisting of himself, Kiba, Shino, Shikamaru, and Choji.

**Ino** : Naruto also got in a fight with Neji(who was a huge jerk back in the day) while also protecting Hinata from bullies

**Sakura** : the constant of our friendships will always be our favorite yellow haired idiot

**Sai** : I had to make a mind map trying to connect all of this

**Ino** : oooo send that to me I'll tell you some additional drama during art

**Sakura** : I'll fill in the gaps for some other time during Kakashi's class

**Sai** : you're in his class too?

**Sakura** : yeah, team 7 sits right behind you

**Sai** : oh, you're the pink hair?

**Sakura** : it's a signature look

**Sai** : yeah, but do you dye it yourself?

**Sakura** : iT's NaTuRal

**Sai** : idk about that because it looks blotchy as hell

**Ino** : SAI YOU DIDN'T

* * *

**From: My Lesbian Love**

**To: Pig Girlfriend**

**My Lesbian Love** : hey Ino

**Pig Girlfriend** : yes my beautiful strong smart and lovely girlfriend

**My Lesbian Love** : you wanna come over

**My Lesbian Love** : my parents are both working late tonight

**Pig Girlfriend** : ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) oooo you want me to  _ come  _ over

**Pig Girlfriend** : wow sak, didn't know you were so forward

**My Lesbian Love** : not like that pig

**My Lesbian Love** : I just thought we could watch a movie and cuddle on the couch for a bit

**My Lesbian Love** : i wanna have a soft relationship <3

**My Lesbian Love** : we're we just lay in each other's arms and talk about our feeling

**Pig Girlfriend** : something wrong babe?

**My Lesbian Love** : we can talk about it when you get here

**Pig Girlfriend** : it's not about me adding sai without asking anyone is it? 

**My Lesbian Love** : it has nothing to do Sai, he's actually growing on me a little tbh

**Pig Girlfriend** : good, I wanted him to make some friends since ive noticed signs that something was off 

**My Lesbian Love** : like an off vibe or an off mind

**Pig Girlfriend** : mind, but that doesnt matter right now

**Pig Girlfriend** : are you having one of  _ those _ nights?

**My Lesbian Love** : seems to be turning out like that

**Pig Girlfriend** : physical or mental or both

**My Lesbian Love** : both

**Pig Girlfriend** : how long has it been since the physical pain?

**My Lesbian Love** : it started a little bit after I got home from Naruto's

**My Lesbian Love** : its not quite pain but it does feel really sore

**Pig Girlfriend** : I'll be over in 15 minutes

**Pig Girlfriend** : I'm about to give you the softest moments of our relationship since we got together

**My Lesbian Love** : love you <3 be safe on the road

**Pig Girlfriend** : of course, see you in a bit <3<3<3

* * *

**From: Cho-jeez**

**To: Sheemikamaru**

**Cho-jeez** : how's cleaning the house to meet your girlfriend's dad for the first time going

**Sheemikamaru** : my mom has been going insane

**Sheemikamaru** : our house isn't even that messy to begin with and she has been cleaning every surface she sees

**Sheemikamaru** : since i told her he was coming she's been making me and my dad sweep every free hour we have

**Cho-jeez** : jeez, I mean you need to make a first good impression i guess

**Cho-jeez** : how's temari taking it?

**Sheemikamaru** : she's been texting me non stop about how I can't slouch for one moment when I meet him

**Sheemikamaru** : Lee set the bar high in terms of mannerisms, so if I can act like I'm a normal human that cares about manners and find something the man is interested in, I'll be fine

**Sheemikamaru** : with all this shit i have to do it feels like a drag 

**Cho-jeez** : well...keep us updated in the gc!! We might have decent advice(depends on who is active)

* * *

**From: Shikamaru**

**To: Naruto**

**Shikamaru** : did Hinata's dad like you when you first met him?

**Naruto** : nah, old man fucking hates my guts

**Naruto** : he liked me a lot more after the break up

**Naruto** : he thought that we actually handled it very maturely which is a huge compliment for me. He hadnt seen that really respectful, understanding side of me until Hinata and I broke up

**Naruto** : why you asking?

**Shikamaru** : i was talking to lee earlier and he said gaara's dad reminded him a lot of hinata's the first time he met both of them

**Shikamaru** : I'm just trying to collect some data

**Naruto** : fucking nerd

**Shikamaru** : shut up

**Naruto** : man you'll be fine

**Naruto** : hinata's dad just didn't like me for reasons associated with my past self

**Shikamaru** : and also everything Neji said about you during that time

**Naruto** : well you dont have anyone bad mouthing you **Naruto** : you don't have anything to worry about

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do I know where I'm going with this? not really. Do I have an idea of where I'm going with this? it's pretty vague. Do I ever have an idea of where I'm going within my fics? that's a good joke.

**Author's Note:**

> If I end up a crack addict one day, this might be why.


End file.
